Last night, Cathy (sis-in-law and unfailing fashion foil) posted on Facebook that she wished “Units” would come back. I think she says these things just to rile me up. It always works.
Do you remember Units? Those jersey knit, “one-size-fits-all” monstrosities that only flattered the skinniest teenaged girls? If not: check out this 80’s fashion tribute site. You’ll have to scroll down, past the shoulder pads, miniskirts, leg warmers, huge earrings, fingerless gloves, parachute pants and Members Only jackets to reach the fail that is Units. In Cathy’s defense, she says Units enabled her to hide her very unplanned pregnancy for 5 months so I guess I can understand why she’s got a soft spot for them. I, however, do not. Not then and not in hindsight. They. Were/Are. Hideous.
A few years ago I was afraid they were making a comeback when I noticed young women everywhere, or so it seemed, wearing cheap, jersey knit coulottes. It made me want to run for office on a platform of “Outlaw those godawful pants!”
A heavier gauge jersey knit can actually hide a multitude of sins. It’s drapey without being clingy, and there’s a big difference. “Drapey” suggests the lines of your figure underneath. “Clingy” settles into every nook, cranny, dimple and crevice – yes, crevice – buys some land, builds a house and raises a family.
Clingy is, in a word, bad. Just Say No.